Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

What a week I had last week! Let me just warn the world: if you pray for God to open your eyes and, "break your heart for what breaks His," He will deliver. I think last week was a bit of a punch to the face for me, spiritually speaking. However, sometimes experiences like these are helpful and even necessary. If I want to truly serve the hurt and lonely, I need to understand them on some level. Over the course of a week, I offered a "shoulder to cry on" to a lonely woman, an abused woman (while I was translating in court), and a homeless man. Many times this week, I have been overwhelmed with the distortion of relationships. Physical and sexual abuse, arrogance, and selfish motives often overrun what the Lord designed to be beautiful. Although I've found myself crying out to God to right these wrongs, I also understand that this was not His doing. Humans are our own worst nightmare. Still, I'm not implying a deist theology that states God merely watches humans without intervening into the chaos. Rather, I believe He gave us free will so that we may have true intimacy with Him (as I stated in my blog "Do You Love Me Enough to Let Me Go"). Still, He intervenes as He sees fit. Do I know when these times are? Absolutely not. I don't pretend to understand the mind of God, but I do know that He loves us and has glorious plans for all our lives. Because it hurts to become invested in the pain of others, I know it hurts the Lord many times over. My love for others is not even comparable with the infinite love God has for us: His creation. Therefore, I find it a blessing that I can, even if for a few moments, see others as true children of God. How can I ever plan to minister to others if I don't even see them as worthy of the Gospel? It's in the moments when we are willing to lower ourselves (literally, as it's often been for me this week) that we can truly make an impact. The last thing devalued people need is another high-and-mighty voice telling them how to fix their problems. The need for attention is startlingly powerful. Women will stay in abusive relationships in order to feel wanted. Children will join gangs and start drugs so that they feel accepted. Sometimes, all people want is someone to listen, see their plight, and pray with them. The more I can do this, the more I hope to make a lifestyle of yearning for the heart of God. I'm changing. I can feel it. Although it's occasionally painful, I'm as ready as ever. Lord, use me!

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