Homesick?

As we near the end of our adventure, I think nearly everyone on the gap year is beginning to feel a bit homesick. It can seem like a lifetime since we’ve seen our loved ones and had experiences that we would consider “normal.” I’ll be honest; it’s not always easy here. Sometimes the AC drips on my head in the night. There’s no hot water. I’ve had to fight off a rat twice in the past week to get a spoon from the kitchen. I eat oatmeal twice daily. I was covered in bug bites a few days ago (we’re guessing it was bed bugs, jellyfish stings, or some kind of rash… aka I don’t know). But you know what? None of that actually bothers me enough to want to change it. The Philippines has actually turned out to be one of my favorite locations. You probably think I’m lying, but I feel fairly un-phased by things that may have really freaked me out a few months ago. I guess my perspective’s changed a bit (I’m still afraid of chickens, though). However, the one thing that finally affected me- for the first time in my life, actually- was a wave of homesickness. I cried talking to my mom and looking at my brother’s prom pictures. It’s not that I’m sad the world is continuing to move everywhere; that’s to be expected. As I change, so does everything else. I simply realized the full effects of how much I love my family and wish to see them. However, even in this moment of sadness (which only lasted a few minutes, thank goodness), I didn’t actually want to go home to Nashville. I wanted my family here (I still do). Maybe it’s because I moved so often as a child or maybe it’s a personality trait, but I don’t generally associate “home” with a location. More now than ever, I have people I love all around the globe (quite literally), and I can name about 50 people I’d like to see at any given moment. Because of this, I see “home” as a place where I’m with those that I love. In that case, I’ve actually been home all year: with my best friends on the gap year and with my host families. It’s both comforting and saddening to realize that I will always have loved ones outside of my physical proximity. I should be used to the idea since I have best friends and family members in Texas, Florida, Tennessee, Virginia, Spain, Philadelphia, Connecticut etc… The list could go on forever, and it now extends firmly to Rwanda, Jordan, and the Philippines. It’s funny that I can simultaneously love cultures with such incredible differences from each other. I love my affectionate and free-spirited family in Jordan while I also love my driven and inspiring family in Rwanda. So yes, absolutely, I’m excited to wrap my arms around my parents, my brothers, and my friends. Nothing can replace family. But yes, I’m also already looking forward to the next time that I’ll be able to see those from my new homes all around the world. I don’t want to wish my time away from any given moment in my life; every day is an opportunity to create another home by finding people and places that I love.