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I'm Sick

Hi. I’m not really sure where to start, so I suppose I’ll just start with a Spark Notes™  version: This past April while I was studying for finals, I was lying out on the grass because I like to feel like I’m connected to the Earth. I got a bunch of bug bites on my back but wasn’t worried about it. A week later, I pulled what I thought was a scab off my back; I realized it was a tick whenever it started squirming in my fingers. I squished it and my own blood came out (unnecessary information, but I want you to feel the horror). Because I was flying out to Madrid the next day, I didn’t have time to worry about my little tag-along. However, once in Spain, I started getting bizarre leg spasms, backaches, headaches etc. I feared Lyme disease based on my Google searches, but it was super unproductive when I went to a doctor over there. I eventually convinced myself those were all symptoms of being in a new country with a new diet etc. Still, I got tested when I finally got back to Nashvill
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I'm (officially) ENGAGED!

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I had a phase of my life where I convinced myself that I would never get married or have children, that I wasn’t even meant to do that. I didn’t attach emotion to the declaration; it was almost the opposite. I took a starkly rational and utilitarian view of my life and decided that the time and emotional energy necessary to foster a family was simply too much, and my time was best used in other places. My ultimate goal was, and really still is, to glorify God by serving others in love, and I believed that I would be more “efficient” at this goal if I didn’t worry myself with the very taxing business of finding a mate and raising kids. The underlying assumption was that domestic affairs were always at odds with my ultimate purpose; they were indulgences in fleshly desires that should be avoided if they could (I was reading a lot of Paul, if you know what I’m sayin’).  Over the course of about two years, I spoke with mentors and friends about my proposed singleton lifestyle and began to
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The Highest Form of Love

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What is love? I think it may be one of the most overused and misinterpreted words in the English language. There is no distinction between the emotions that are all strewn into that 4-letter word: adoration, lust, infatuation, brotherly feelings, respect, companionship, mutual enjoyment… It’s all there. However, I’ve decided that one sect of this word stands above the rest. It’s the type of love that God the Father gave us at our origin: love that lets go. From the very beginning, God gave humanity the all-important gift of free will; we are not robots. As the only omnipotent being, our Father knew we collectively would sin and turn our backs on Him. However, his infinite love required a genuine reciprocation; He refused to force it. Because this type of love consciously allows the object of joy (the beloved) to leave, it is the most difficult and selfless. Parents, on a less extreme scale, also endure this type of love when their baby chicks move out of the house for college
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