Why?

Lesson 7- Contentment comes in seeking Truth and using our gifts to serve others

“Why do you want to volunteer?”

With a welcoming smile and inquisitive eyes, the interviewer awaited my response. I knew what she was asking. I’m a young college student with the most opportunities I will ever have. I have the youth and flexibility to do almost anything that interests me. So why this?  Why do I want to voluntarily put myself in the midst of the harrowing trauma of others? Why am I so often drawn to the seemingly dark places when I could just as easily spare myself? Why do I want to work here, at the Sexual Assault Center of Nashville. And even more pertinently- do I have what it takes? Second-hand trauma is a very real phenomenon, and becoming a Crisis Line volunteer at the SAC puts me in direct contact with victimization. The work isn’t for everyone; can I handle the pain and stress in a healthy manner?

“Well…”

I start out slowly before launching into my explanation of my passion fighting various areas of sexual assault, abuse, and human trafficking. Truthfully, I am often drawn to the most tragic problems our society has to offer. If there's a problem; I want to be at the deepest root. Rationalizing that assault is one of the most dehumanizing crimes our society has to offer, I have been interested for years in becoming part of the solution. While human trafficking prevention appeals to me the most, I am still drawn to all areas of abuse prevention and recovery. And thus I found myself today applying to volunteer at the Sexual Assault Center of Nashville. But the question is still valid- why?

I believe everyone has the potential to better society. Not everyone needs to work at a nonprofit or travel to a third-world country. Oftentimes what we really need is kind people who have the courage to love others well, wherever they are in life. On the other hand, I fear using the “good person” theology to avoid any potentially painful or challenging situation. I don’t think the end goal in life is comfort, and I would regret making my decisions based off of the short-sighted ideal of “happiness.” I think Americans have the right to “pursue” happiness rather than “find” it because it is fleeting and thus an unstable way to measure life’s success. Rather, I want to seek the type of contentment that comes from using the gifts I’ve been given to help others. To yearn for Truth, even when it’s not necessarily fun. To confront suffering by recognizing my own vulnerability and need for a Savior. Pain affects all races, sexes, socioeconomic backgrounds, and nationalities. While the instinct is often to flee from any and all discomfort, the most intensive growth usually comes from how we deal with these inevitable moments. Much like sports training, growth takes intentionality in the midst of difficulty. For this reason, I truly desire to venture into the unrefined spaces of society and seek healing. I don’t want to work with victims because I think that I’m capable of healing them. I can’t heal anyone. Rather, I want to bring my own brokenness and bond over the common humanity I share with everyone I meet. In knowing that no one is perfect, we are able to come together and seek the One who is. I’m not going to “be a light” in dark places; rather, I’m hoping to reflect the light that I have found in Christ and in love. In sum, I’d rather have a more realistic view of the world and end up slightly scarred than purposefully maintain distance from pain: both my own and that of others’. If that mindset leads me to become a counselor at the Sexual Assault Center (as it seems that it will since I start training next month), then I want to accept that challenge with the humility of knowing that I’ll only be able to do it through Christ and approaching each day out of love. Everyone has a role to play, and I’m still trying to find mine. That’s why.