Haiti Final Reflection

These past two plus weeks have been more and less tumultuous and eventful than I expected. Let me explain the contradiction as best I can (which is probably inadequate since I don't completely understand it myself and possibly never will).

This trip has been more pressing than anticipated as it has forced me to come head-on with my beliefs on the purpose and methodology of service. On a personal level, the work I've witnessed and participated in has made me question the role I, and all missionaries/servants/Christians play in loving others in a reflection of God's love. I don't think anyone who has read the Bible would deny that Our Father expects us to love each other because of our love for Him. To further the kingdom and attempt to fulfill our roles as humans, service is necessary. However, I'm not convinced the methods we've assumed, both as first-world "helpers" and third-world "receivers," is quite appropriate for a long-term approach to life-improvement and healthy relations to each other and even our own self-images. Certainly, direct and efficient physical and monetary aid is appropriate in crisis situations, but what about the indefinite, everyday work? As a proud citizen of the Bible belt (shout-out Nashville!), I've very familiar with short-term mission trips; I've actually been to Haiti about 3 years ago when I worked in an orphanage for a week. Mission trips are useful in opening the eyes of the blessed to see the world beyond their bubbles and hopefully change their hearts. Still, from what I've experienced these past 2 weeks and learned in-depth for the past 4 months through my studies and experiences, I've come to the conclusion that a slightly shifted approach may be beneficial. Everywhere I go in Haiti, I'm bombarded as a "blanc" (white person) and expected to morph into a blonde Santa Clause by handing out money, sunglasses, basically anything. As the "giver," I often feel more like a toy and welfare agent than a person trying to help. As for "receivers," I believe the role forces them to become dependent and slightly shameless. Their actions, no fault of their own, are a result of the position into which they have been conditioned. The main (if not only) context they've ever seen a white (Western) person is in a situation of giving. Of course, there are many different types of services and cross-cultural relationships in Haiti, but this type of involvement has been my general observation and involvement. In these cases, we are creating superiority-inferiority complexes. I can imagine that the constant necessity to ask and hold an open hand creates feelings of shame and inadequacy. I feel especially embarrassed when I hand out food and clothes to children and then watch them go back to their birth-parents, who stand helplessly waiting at the door. The aid is necessary, but I have to believe that the chaos and embarrassment is not. I imagine a world in which people of different economic brackets, social contexts, and racial backgrounds can live and aid each other peacefully and appreciatively, working side-by-side instead of a catering to a one-sided hand-out. I would love to help create a system in which the poor are given means to work and feel a sense of responsibility instead of a constant supply of monetary and material aid. These people are neither helpless nor lazy; they are strong and hard-working and yearning to make their own means if given the opportunity. They need a hand-up, not a hand-out. Of course, I'm simplifying and idealizing everything, but I suppose it's a start. 

On the other hand, this trip has been less eventful than expected in a very literal sense because of all the free time we have. Although it may get a bit boring when we have nothing to do and nowhere to go, our time has been very effective in allowing us, as a team, time to think, read, relate, and sleep. Even if we feel burnt-out, it's definitely not because we're fatigued or hungry. A clear indicator of culture shock, the change in pace has forced me to slow down my busy mind and reflect. I’ve written pages upon pages of my ideas for mission trips and nonprofits in Haiti. Just for your amusement, I’ll also reveal my nerdy-ness in that fact that I wrote and then solved my own random math problems. People say you don’t use algebra in the real world, but I’m here to contest that. ;)

Overall, this mission trip was not quite what I expected, and I’m actually appreciative of that. Through my reflection and prayer, I have learned more about myself and my ideas for service and cross-cultural relationships. There are many admirable aspects of the current aid in Haiti (and many different types and approaches, for that matter!), and I have come to deeply respect many of the people I have met on this trip. For instance, the two long-term missionaries, Jeff and Teressa, and a leader of Children’s Lifeline, Robenson, a native Haitian, are all amazing examples of humility and peace. However, I believe there is still much work to be done. Through Christ, I believe the Church has a responsibility to continue working for His kingdom, and I only pray I will be open to how He plans to use me.