Faith, Life, and Lessons

I'm home!!!!! Eating raw fruits, doing water sports behind the boat, driving, going to the grocery store, experiencing a mega-church service in the Bible belt... yep. I'm officially back in Nashville and loving it. Still, this isn't to say that my transition hasn't come without a bit of disorientation. My first morning back home, I woke myself up to go for a run. Stretching my achy muscles after all the long flights, I mentally prepared for the blood-pumping, lung-collapsing exercise that was soon to follow. As I took off in my usual near-sprint, I closed my eyes for a moment to appreciate the radiating sun and strange familiarity of my neighborhood. BAM! All of a sudden I'm laid out on the concrete with blood running down my legs and hands as I stare at myself in complete shock. Apparently "culture shock" can sometimes mean that you forget how to put one foot in front of the other without hitting a dip in the curb. Great. Anyways, after cleaning out all

As we near the end of our adventure, I think nearly everyone on the gap year is beginning to feel a bit homesick. It can seem like a lifetime since we’ve seen our loved ones and had experiences that we would consider “normal.” I’ll be honest; it’s not always easy here. Sometimes the AC drips on my head in the night. There’s no hot water. I’ve had to fight off a rat twice in the past week to get a spoon from the kitchen. I eat oatmeal twice daily. I was covered in bug bites a few days ago (we’re guessing it was bed bugs, jellyfish stings, or some kind of rash… aka I don’t know). But you know what? None of that actually bothers me enough to want to change it. The Philippines has actually turned out to be one of my favorite locations. You probably think I’m lying, but I feel fairly un-phased by things that may have really freaked me out a few months ago. I guess my perspective’s changed a bit (I’m still afraid of chickens, though). However, the one thing that finally affected me- for the

Before this gap year began, I thought briefly about my expectations and self-growth; I planned on becoming highly spiritual and finding some sort of enlightenment. I didn't know who I would be, but I figured I'd be something like a wise monk who's best friends with Jesus and stuck in an American college student's body. Good plan right? Well now that my gap year is nearing a close, it's somewhat scary to realize that I'm still just me. Human. Layla through and through. I definitely  have  vastly more experiences and  hopefully  consequentially more maturity, but I'm ultimately just a better version of myself. Nothing more or less. I still find myself having to work to carve out time for prayer, Bible-reading, and genuine reflection. I still have to weigh my decisions in my mind, and unfortunately I still make the wrong ones on occasion. I guess wise monk perfection is still not in sight (just to be clear, it never will be. That's the definition of humanit

I can’t believe it, but I’m officially in my last location: the Philippines!!! I honestly love it here (the tropics is definitely my style). During these five weeks, the other gappies and I are working with a ministry called International Care Ministries. One of the most well-run NGOs I've ever encountered, the ministry has a program called Transform to improve the lives of those living in slum communities by teaching simple lessons about Virtues, Health, and Livelihood (VHL). What I love most about this program is that the communities themselves ask ICM to engage. Instead of implying our superiority through unsolicited classes, we are equals. Further provoking this theme, the local pastor is the one to teach the “virtues” portion of the program. That way, the relationships, small groups, and church setting is unchanged once ICM leaves the area. We foster an environment that can hopefully be sustained long after our departure. (Creating dependence should always be avoided). The pr

In general, one of the most notorious aspects of the Eastern culture and Islam is the treatment and perception of women. Coming into the culture, I was genuinely excited to see how the gender roles and beliefs would play out in my life personally and in my observations of others. This may sound odd since I just established that I expected inequality and possibly even harassment, but this is one of the interesting facets of my personality. I occasionally enjoy coming headfirst with difficulty, especially based others' doubts/prejudices. For instance, I absolutely loved going to the Air Force Academy summer seminar (for perspective students) exactly for the reason that dissuaded many others: the challenge. As a female in a males' world, I wanted to prove something to myself and others. Especially as a tall blonde, I stood out quite a bit, and there were certain instances where I felt that I was held to a different standard because of this. However, although I hated it at the t

In order to give everyone a more tangible taste of my experiences in Jordan (since I've realized many may not know anything about my daily life etc), I've scribed one of my weekend days with my host family (about a week ago). During weekdays, I go to my internship at Princess Taghrid Institute (a relational and job-training center for orphans who have graduated the orphanage at the age of 18). I work in the tailoring unit as well as working as a model for the upcoming fashion show (an event in their East West and Africa Women's Initiatives Conference). I also attend group sessions and one-on-ones at Ithraa Relational Training, where I've been learning more about self-awareness and how I relate to others. Anyways, I hope this post is enlightening as far as my current life; it's been absolutely amazing so far, and I'm excited to see how I continue to learn and grow as I fall more in love with my host family, other gap year students, the world at large, and, above

Today I went to visit a mosque with the rest of the gap year group to learn more about Islam. Attempting to be as informed as possible, especially as I live in a Muslim home and am surrounded by a world to which I’m painfully oblivious, I have actually been studying history and Islam for the past few days on my own. However, this one visit was far more informative and inspiring than any of my Googling has been. Honestly, the more I learn, the more I respect certain principles of the Muslim lifestyle. Before your head explodes thinking that I’ve “gone off the deep end” or “switched sides” (which I haven't although I think that's the wrong way of thinking; this isn’t a game of football), let me explain myself. For starters, Islam, Judaism, and Christianity all have the same roots historically speaking. Allah is Yaweh is God. Because of this, I found that my host sister and I have many of the same views on religion despite our differences. We both connect to God as the caring Crea

Spiritual warfare. Oftentimes, I think the immediate connotations are overly zealous cult participants, preachy church people, or normal people who don’t mention it for fear of the first two stereotypes. I’ve been reminding myself to blog about spiritual warfare for months now (since Denver actually), but I kept putting it off. Who knows why… Maybe because the issue is so broad and beyond my comprehension. However, multiple times in my life, I’ve experienced warfare, and I think it’s necessary that Christ followers recognize and talk about this in order to encourage each other, realize the gravity of their life on earth, and stay close to the only One who can truly save.  One of my most obvious encounters with the supernatural recently was during my time living in a house/apartment with all the gap girls during our semester in Denver. We loved that house; it’s where we became a family. Our adorable home was rented out to us by an organization called the Open Door Ministries (who a

Quite a bit has happened to me since the last time I've blogged. I've been lucky enough to visit home, get clear direction about my future (college choice anyway) through the Ingram Scholarship, go on "gap spring break" (basically I just add "gap" to everything to affectionally brand ourselves), and now experience a new culture/family in Jordan. Despite the overwhelming blessings God has showered  torrentially down-poured on me lately, I will unfortunately not be blogging about any of that at the moment. Instead, I would like to talk about the incredibly relevant and cross-cultural topic of self-consciousness, physical appearance, and vanity. For the next month in Amman, Jordan, the entire gap group will be interning in various departments of the Princess Taghrid Institute. Among many other wonderful things, the Institute will be hosting a women's empowerment conference called the East West and Africa Women's Initiatives Conference. Aside from talk

Where the heck am I and oh my gosh it’s so dark and everyone is touching me and I barely have enough AirTime to call anyone and it’s better to stay on the moto then get off and be completely lost. This was the flowing thought process of my 2 minute panic attack as I realized how truly lost and alone I can be when I push myself beyond the margins of normalcy and familiarity (which I do quite often). Because my friend Courtney and I wanted to meet up, she had invited me to dinner with her host family at their house about 15 minutes from my own. Unfortunately, since my phone was stolen at a soccer game about two weeks ago, I’ve been living in an 1800s mindset by communicating solely on physical presence (or bumming other people’s phones in dire situations). Even after I was finally able to register a new SIM card (the hold-up on me getting a new phone in the first place; the network had been down the entire two weeks), I only had a few minutes AirTime total. I internally compared this to

According to When Helping Hurts , humanity is based on relationships, and there are really only four types: to God, to self, to others, and to the rest of creation. Because of the fall of humanity, all four of these categories have been damaged, although not destroyed. Therefore, poverty is the effects of these broken relationships. In other words, every human on earth is impoverished in some aspect, although maybe not materialistically. For instance, many North American Christians are wealthy in a monetary sense, but they may be impoverished in their relationship to self, leading to pride or self-consciousness or impoverished in their relationship to others, leading to isolation, loneliness, or idolatry of friendships. In reality, every problem on earth can be traced to the brokenness of our relationships in these four categories. We form our culture out of this discord, and our culture forms us. Gender roles, oppressive hierarchies, bondage, and all other types of pain are a result o

So… the idea of driving down to Lake Kivu for a weekend (24-hour period to be exact) sounds like a great idea when the bus ride is only 3 hours each way right? Well, let me tell you what…  Last weekend, the entire KIVU group decided to travel to Lake Kivu as a weekend get-away, leaving on Saturday morning and returning Sunday afternoon. My Saturday morning began like any other, with me sluggishly turning off my music alarm clock (I refuse to wake up to angry beeping) and getting ready with a light breakfast. Don’t let go of the sight that my breakfast was light this particular morning; it will come back into play. Anyways, after about 20 minutes in the car, I arrived at the Kigali bus station, joined the group, and hopped on the bus. Although at first the group nodded approvingly at the bus, which was like the type of tough and rickety van you would take to a mission trip to Haiti or Mexico, we quickly realized that it was going to be more crowded than expected. After we all pile

I’m currently re-reading one of my favorite books: When Helping Hurts (by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert), and a passage I just read about the exile and rebellion of Israel really struck me because of its relevancy in Christian America today (and really in modern religion everywhere). Like most people, I’ve always believed that Israel’s main rebellion was their idolatry (which is definitely part of it and can be taken as a conviction for our modern mis-prioritization). However, many passages in Isaiah paint a slightly different picture of the infamous nation. In Isaiah 1:10-17, the prophet describes the hypocrisy and fake piety of Israel; although they upheld and excelled in keeping the Sabbath, offerings, fastings, and even prayers, they neglected the poor and needy and had no care for justice. Their actions did not line up with their words. Because of this, God was disgusted with them and said that their “evil assemblies” of worship repulsed Him. God is clearly not a fan of inconsis

For our internship here in Rwanda, Madi (another Gap Year student) and I are interning at a large coffee exporting business called Rwanda Trading Company (under the umbrella of Westrock Coffee in the USA). The business is an interesting mix of business and humanitarian ideals (they were originally started as a social experiment to see if other countries could begin corporations in Rwanda to create economic activity). They employ nearly all locals both in the office and out farming in the fields. Additionally, they provide all their farmers with agricultural training and agronomy advice, cows for nutrition and additional income, clean drinking water in the community, and immediate cash payment with receipts. Starting out with some excitement, Madi and I spent our first day on the job traveling about two hours out of the city of Kigali (where I live with my host family) to a washing station, which is basically a place where coffee farmers meet to sort and wash their raw beans and to sel

Well, today was my first actual day in my host home and at my internship; the jet lag recovery period is officially over, and I’m ready to begin my new routine. Anyways, because my time at my internship, Rwanda Trading Company, was only an orientation, I had plenty of time to hang out with the nanny and baby Ramya (14 months old) at my host-home in between exploring the city and visiting Blair, who is within walking distance. Still acclimating to the culture and more specifically the people and routine of my home stay, I chatted with Doreen, the nanny, and helped looked after the adorable and rambunctious Ramya. Luckily, Doreen speaks near perfect English, and she was very open and enthusiastic in sharing her story with me. I could tell she deeply appreciated spending time with someone else who could use intelligible words (although Ramya does try very hard). Understandably, I think she’s a bit starved for quality time with adults. Having worked in Rwanda for about a year and a half, s